To My Son, The Procrastinator

When I reminded my 11yo son that it was his day to pick up the dog crap in the backyard, he said “but I forgot” with enough forced sincerity to hold up in a court of law. Then he said, “It’s dark out,” and shrugged, and like any good father I wanted to kick him square in the butt.

I didn’t, naturally. But I wanted to because he’s in this irritating phase…